PimpHeads..

OVERHEARD. An Ear informer was at a known redlight district along D. Jakosalem St. late last night. A taxicab was parked at the roadside with the hazard lights blinking, the male passenger inside waiting. The cabbie was seen talking to two pimps. The cabbie told the pimps that his passenger, a Chinese businessman, wants a 14-year-old girl. The cabbie said, “Mas maayo kung virgin.”

TEEN SEX WORKERS. The two pimps said they have 14-year-olds but none of them are virgins. The cabbie then told the pimps to gather the girls for the usual “inspection” where the girls would parade in front of the taxicab, spotlighted by the cab’s headlights while the customer inside the cab will take his pick. As the pimps left to gather the girl, one pimp was heard telling the other, “Apila na lang to silang ___, 16 na man to sila, pero puwede pa mailad nga 14. Ayaw na to silang ___ kay 18 na to. Mga tiguwang na to sila.”

Courtesy of The Freeman, Ear Section, 11/26/08 Issue

gitika ko beh!

babae: nong! sakay ko!
drivr: cge! asa man ka?
bbae: diha lang sa kanto! naay bayad ang bata?
drivr: ay libre lang kay duol man.
bbae: ah, ang mosabak naay bayad?
drivr: wala gihapon!
bbae: cge nak! sabaka ko…


Customer: Day, kape.
Tindera: Tag P10 na ra ba.
Customer: Diba tag P8 ra na?
Tindera: Nimahal naman gud ang gasolina.
Customer: Ah, ayaw na lang butangig gasolina!


AMO: inday gipatotoy na nimo ang bata?
Maid: Yes mam! gipatotoy na.
Amo: Ang sir nimo ningkaon na?
Maid: Naah! mam, dili man mukaon si sir, gipatotoy na lng pud nako.


BISAYA: Pabili nga ng lemoncito.
TINDERA: Anong lemoncito?
BISAYA: Lemoncito gud. yong maliit na buongon!


TEACHER : give me a tag question.
PUPIL: My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?
TEACHER: Very good! Ibinisaya dong.
PUPIL: Ang akong maestra gwapa, wa sya kuyapi?


bana : love, promise sugod karon di na tika luiban. ako nang biyaan ang akong kabit
asawa: wow, tenk you love, ako sad promise, ang sunod natong anak, ikaw nay amahan. promise jud!


security : excuse me po mam, titingnan ko lang ang bag nyo kung merong baril.
tiguwang: buang ka! di man gani maigo ang balde sa akong bag, baril pa kaha!


customer: miss, papalita ko ug condom kay birthday sa akong gf
tindera: e-gift wrap pa bani sir?
customer: ayaw na kay mao man nay wrapper sa akong gift


anak : ma, busog nako, dili nako mahurot
mama: hutda dyud na! kabaw baka nga daghan gipang gutom sa kalibutan?
anak: nya kung ako ni hutdon, mabusog sila?!



bana : gang, naka-save ko ug 6.00 karon kay ako na man gigukod ang jeep, wala man ko mu sakay
asawa: bogo! taxi unta imung gigukod aron mas dako imong na-save


Doc: Ma'am, naa kay breast cancer.
Ma'am: ha? tinuod ka doc? dili man ko katuo sa imong gisulti! i'm healthy! naa pa ka second opinion?
Doc: Bati pa jud kag nawong!

Pag-ampo sa kumagko..

This is so neat. I had never heard this before. This is beautiful - and it is surely worth making the 5 finger prayer a part of our lives.

1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

** Acknowledgement: this article was forwarded from a very great and special friend. Thanks for sharing this and you are blessed!